How to stop pulling your hair

Why it sticks

Hair pulling often begins as touching or twirling, usually while reading, studying, driving or lying in bed. Fingers find a hair that feels different, coarse or out of place, and pulling it brings a brief sense of relief. For some people it is fully automatic, for others it is a focused response to stress. Both versions respond to the same approach of awareness plus a competing action.

How to stop pulling your hair

1. Notice the hand before the pull

   The pull is the end of a chain: hand to head, touching, searching, pulling. Learn the first link. Many people find the hand rising to the head is the moment to catch.

2. Put a barrier on your hands or hair

   Thin gloves, plasters on the fingertips, a hat, a headscarf or hair tied back all make it harder to find and grip a hair. Use them in the situations where pulling happens most.

3. Give your hands a competing response

   When the urge arrives, do something incompatible with pulling for about a minute. Clench your fists, hold a fidget toy or squeeze a stress ball. This is the core of habit reversal training.

4. Change the setting

   If it happens in bed, read at a table instead. If it happens while studying, sit where someone can see you. A small change of place often breaks the automatic version of the habit.

5. Keep the sensation, change the source

   Many people pull for the feel of the hair between their fingers. A soft brush, a strand of thread, or a textured fidget gives the same sensation without the damage.

6. Get proper support

   Hair pulling that causes noticeable hair loss is called trichotillomania. It is common, and it responds to therapy. A GP can refer you, and the TLC Foundation for BFRBs has resources and specialist lists.

What to track instead

A row that only records the habit not happening gets a tick on the days you were never tempted, and tells you nothing on the day it mattered. Give the row to the replacement:

• Hair tied back while studying
• Fidget in hand during reading
• No reading in bed
• Gloves on during TV

Print a tracker with these 4 habits or open them in a spreadsheet.

Your first week

1. Day 1. Write down when and where you pulled today and what you were doing.
2. Day 2. Notice the first movement, the hand going up. Write that down too.
3. Day 3. Choose a barrier for your top situation and use it.
4. Day 4. Practise your competing response every time the hand rises.
5. Day 5. Move one activity, like reading, to a different spot.
6. Day 6. Find a fidget with a texture you like and keep it nearby.
7. Day 7. Count the days with fewer pulls than day one.